Clericalism Part Five: Terror of the Holy

  I do not know how to prove there is an unconscious terror of the Holy in the core of humanity as a whole.  But I am convinced it is there. Since this terror is unconscious, it moves and motivates us without our awareness. This is a primal condition begun in the soul of mankind with the sin of Adam and Eve. Before the fall, we felt comfortable in God’s presence. After the fall, we had to run and hide because we could not stand to let Him look at us. To hide an awareness of Him became the way block Him out and live as if He did not exist.  We could not experience Him as anything but Threat because of our guilt. Before the fall, His Majesty inspired awe and wonder, even though it also made us quake and tremble.  But the quaking and trembling was not terror. It was a realization of our nothingness in comparison to His greatness.  After, we could not even entertain the thought of Him without cringing in fear. His greatness was Threat to us since we were now experiencing ourselves as His enemies and not as His image. The fact that He did not experience us as we experienced ourselves was not something our minds could grasp.

I think this terror of the Holy is still common to primitive peoples and cultures. In such a “progressive” civilization as ours, the enlightenment achieved by Psychology and Progress has anesthetized this terror into sophisticated numbness. Unlike more primitive societies which are still somewhat capable of awe and wonder, for us “moderns” boredom is new starting point where our conversion into Christian life begins.  In the past, surrender to Christ as He who saves us from our sins removed our terror of the Sacred and set us at peace with God. In the present, we first have to be made open to the Sacred, become aware that the Sacred is Goodness and Love we can trust, and let this new consciousness enkindle its love in us. The complications are our own fault because of the great lengths we have gone to insulate ourselves from the Sacred.

The wrong way to avoid the terror of the Holy is to hide from Him by denial. (We have yet to find a “right” way to hide from God because there is none.)  Denial once begun becomes easier and easier in its expansion. Denial of guilt becomes denial of sin. Denial of sin becomes denial of God, of obligation, and of responsibility. Denial also ego-inflates into an assertion of freedom, independence, and autonomy. The need for consistence and coherence in our lives either  moves us to open our selves more and more to God, or close ourselves off from Him more completely.

 In our Culture we believers go back and forth, forth and back, between conversion and denial.  This movement in us affects the way we view the relation of the natural to the Supernatural.  The more converted (holy) the person, the more awareness there will be of the presence of the Supernatural in the natural. The more into denial the person, the more absent the Supernatural will be from the natural. The person who takes one step forward and two backwards (most of us) will probably imagine the Supernatural on top of the natural, as a kind of layer that blankets it in a heavy invisible fog. There will be no awareness of the immanence of the Holy. The person who lives in Faith, Hope, and Love will “sense” the Supernatural present within the natural. The mystic will “see” the natural shimmer with Glory.

What has all of this to do with Clericalism? Clericalism is obviously more than abuse of power and/or enjoyment of perks that go with the priestly profession. It is a defense mechanism: our human attempt to “protect” ourselves from the intrusion of the Holy into our lives. Since the clergyman is a sign of the Holy, two perpetually easy ways to avoid what he stands for are to idolize him or despise him.  From apostolic time to today, it is easier to stop at the sign than to face what it signifies.Thus an encounter with the Holy Itself is avoided.  

Christ and Codependence

                                                              

PART ONE

Why am I writing about Christ and Codependence?  Or, for that matter, why should you bother to read it? The best answer I can give is that Christ is the Way out of Codependence. However, for some readers, that may seem like the worst answer. They would probably ask me:  “Why bring Christ (and therefore ‘religion’ of some sort) into a discussion of Codependence? Certainly we can study the topic without Him”.  Am I being narrow-minded, arrogant or sectarian, trying to sneak in my religious views where they don’t belong and impose them on others?  I don’t think so. I know Christ and Codependence don’t fit together in everyone’s minds, so I need to explain what I am doing and why.

One reason is that I write from a Faith perspective. From that perspective Codependence is something that Christ is constantly confronting in us whether we are aware of it or not. Becoming aware can be a step forward for us so we do not offer him so much resistance.  Since my religious Faith creates that perspective in me, it would be unfair of to expect me to jump out of my skin and try to write as if I were a non believer.  Secondly,  looking at the issue of Codependence from a  Christian Faith Perspective broadens and deepens my horizons by opening the topic to the dimension of Divine Mystery instead of focusing on the issue narrowly, say, from the perspective of one brand of Psychology or another. Thirdly, Christ is involved in issues of codependence in one situation after another all the time throughout the four Gospels. Fourthly Christ is not just one more player in the arena of Codependence because I or anyone else decides to mention Him, but because of whom he is. He is the Creator of all that is.  He is the Logos, the Cause, Rationale, and Goal of all that exists.  “In him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible… all things were created through him and for him. He is before all things and in him all things hold together. (Colossians I: 16-17) We all appear as blips on his radar screen even if we try to keep him out of the private Ego Bubble that makes up our little world.

 For example, suppose I jump off the Empire State Building, a) because I a depressed and suicidal, or b) because I am insane and think I am able to fly. It really doesn’t matter what I think or how I feel. The Law of Gravity will automatically take effect. No matter what my state of being, I will fall to my destruction. My accepting, rejecting, or ignoring the Law of Gravity, doesn’t influence its operation. The same is true of Christ. He is the Word, “through whom all things were made and without whom was not anything made that was made” (John 1:3). There is nothing that is a part of us that he is not in touch with, and nothing that does not touch him. Everything finds its origin, meaning and fulfillment in him. He is the Alpha and Omega. All that our human nature goes through is caught up in his Incarnation, redeemed by his Crucifixion, and drawn up with him to the Father in his Resurrection and Ascension. This includes the Cosmic Laws that guide the stars, sun, moon, and planets, as well as those which govern us ensouled bodies.

If I had been born in a different time or place, I might have been a pantheist, an atheist, an agnostic, or a believer in any of many different gods. I am sure that no matter when or where I was born, I would have been codependent!

 I am happy to be here now and be the person I am. But the fact is that (as is the case with every other human being,) I could very easily never have been born, and in that case the world would exist quite nicely without me. I am not necessary to the world for its operation. My existence and thinking may matter little in terms of the dynamics that govern creation in general and human existence in particular. The same is true of every one of us. But because I am alive now and have both Faith and Reason now, I would be foolish not to make the best use I have of both. My hope is that by doing so I will cooperate with Christ in his work of freeing me from my codependence and, Deo Volente, even be of some help to others.

PART TWO

 As a Roman Catholic priest, I have often wondered why we Catholics, lay, religious, and clergy, do not make more progress in our spiritual lives. My experience tells me that generally we Catholics are more likely to be spiritual pygmies than spiritual giants.  One of the reasons is that we are caught up in codependent behavior patterns that render us incapable of true spiritual growth. Much of the time, our Christianity may be more counterfeit than genuine, in spite of our sincerity.   For example, I can think I am praying to Christ correctly, or following him as a disciple, or keeping his commandments, yet that will not actually be the case.  Instead, I will be caught up in my own codependent style and unconsciously attempt to catch Him up in it too. In fact, real conversion, discipleship, and prayer are not possible until I grow in self knowledge and wake up to my codependent style.  

The instance of the two brothers fighting over money in Luke 12:13 is an example of this problem. One of the brothers tells the Lord: ‘’Teacher, bid my brother divide the inheritance with me.” The man sees Christ as some kind of authority figure that he can appeal to, and is asking him for help in getting the property he thinks he has a right to.  On the surface, it seems like a fair enough request.  The brothers know that Christ has a reputation for being a caring, loving person who can work wonders to help people out of difficult situations. He does what is right and good to everyone.  So Christ’s response must have come as a surprise to the brother. “Man, who made me a judge or divider over you?”   (vs. 14)  He refuses the request, and says he does not have to involve himself in their dispute. They must have been surprised by his response. Probably they changed their minds about him. He definitely was not the “nice guy” they thought he was.

 Christ does not feel obliged to fulfill the man’s expectations.  He is not going to take the side of one of the brothers over the other.  It is not a question of which brother is in the right, because from Our Lord’s perspective both are wrong.  Christ warns the two of them:  “Beware of all covetousness.” They’re both in the wrong, because both are acting out of their desire for more. Neither is really interested in justice, just in winning the fight.  That is why Christ won’t get involved in their squabble. He won’t collude with them and play their game by their rules.

 What does this have to do with codependency? Everything!  It is a great example of the way we relate to Christ out of our codependent style with one another and expect Him to go along with us. But He who is the Truth is going to expose our falsity. The two brothers are into aggression as a way of getting what they want.  This has probably been going on since childhood, and now it is a fixed style they are more or less locked into whenever they relate.  Even when they are civil or polite, the underlying aggression is there, like a tiger ready to pounce, when the opportunity presents itself.  But neither brother has enough self knowledge to be aware of this habitual behavior. The self deception, or blindness in Biblical terms, is a component of codependent life style.  So each thinks (probably in all sincerity) he is seeking justice, when he is basically looking for his own advantage.  Even if they both agreed to let Christ mediate their dispute, his decision would not bring about harmony or peace between them.  Their fighting would continue, no matter what He decided.   The real solution is for each to realize that covetousness, self seeking greed for what the other has, is in their hearts and moving them to be fighting with each other over everything.

 Christ is not a Mr. Fixit with quick one-step solutions to our problems. He calls us to a new way of being that begins with conversion, and deepens as the conversion takes us over more and more completely.  In our struggle for independence and control, we would like to reduce conversion to a simple, one-step process. (Been there, done that!  In fact, still there, still doing that!) Conversion includes the crucifixion of our Ego, and the Ego has such a grip on us that it colors all we do, including our relating to God.