This posting continues the reflections begun in the posting of 7/26/13.
Sewald responds to
Pope Benedict’s comments on homosexuality with the observation :"It is no
secret that there are homosexuals even among priests and monks. Just recently
there was a major scandal on account of the homosexual passions of priests in
Rome.” Pope Pope, being honest and humble, admits the truth of Sewald’s
statement, but surprises me, because he does not say what I expected. I was
anticipating something along the lines of the need for active homosexual
priests to repent, just as priests who were heterosexual would have to repent
of being unfaithful if they had sexual relations with women. Instead, the pope spoke out forcefully against homosexuals in the priesthood. This is what he
said: “Homosexuality is incompatible with the priestly vocation. Otherwise
celibacy itself would lose its meaning as a renunciation”.
I had been thinking, Well, just as a heterosexual has to renounce
marriage with a woman, a homosexual would have to renounce sexual activity with men. He would have to
be celibate in his own way. But the pope is not considering two kinds of
celibacy, one for homosexuals, and another for heterosexuals. He views celibacy
in relation to marriage, and marriage of course between a man and a woman. He
continues: “It would be extremely dangerous if celibacy became a sort of
pretext for bringing people into the priesthood who don’t want to get married
anyway.” That makes sense to me. Being a
eunuch for the sake of the kingdom does mean giving up marriage to a woman, and
more than that. It means more than
being a bachelor who wears a clerical collar. It means being fruitful and
multiplying the sons and daughters of God in the new family his Son has
established, the Church. I interpret the pope as meaning that the refusal of, or indifference to, spiritual fatherhood is the big
problem. If a man is not interested in sacrificing being a father through marriage to a woman for the sake
spiritual fatherhood, he should not be a priest. There are certainly bachelor heterosexual priests who
are not interested in spiritual fatherhood, only in the priesthood as a career
or a profession. But, ultimately, spiritual fatherhood is the natural
responsibility of every male no matter what he labels himself, nor what his state in
life. Without spiritual fatherhood, even if he is called to be single, he is a “barren fig tree” or a “dead branch.”
How does a man
usually mature as a man, or grow and develop into his potential as a male? Usually by getting married to a woman,
having a wife and children, by working hard to earn a living, by living for the
family he has, giving himself for them, raising the children, and leaving sons
and daughters behind him. If all a man
had to do was impregnate a woman and then disappear, fatherhood would be easily
accomplished. But a male becomes more of a man by being a husband and father,
or to say it more simply, by fathering. Celibacy is a huge
sacrifice since everything in a man is directed to finding fulfillment in and
through a woman, the children, and the family he will establish with her.
Fathering is his natural reason for being. The responsibility he accepts in marriage is
what gets him out of bed in the morning and keeps him going. If a man has no
desire for a woman and no desire to marry, and therefore becomes a priest, his
renunciation of marriage is no renunciation at all. By becoming a priest he embraces fathering in a different form.
Pope Benedict continues:
“The Congregation of Education issued a decision a few years ago to the
effect that homosexual candidates cannot become priests because their sexual
orientation estranges them from the proper sense of paternity, from the
intrinsic nature of priestly being. The selection of candidates to the
priesthood must therefore be very careful. The greatest attention is needed
here in order to prevent the intrusion of this kind of ambiguity and to head
off a situation where the celibacy of priests would practically end up being
identified with the tendency to homosexuality.”
Of course the “greatest attention is needed”, but I am
afraid that no amount of care and attention that can completely
eliminate the problem. When it comes to
psycho-sexual identity, there are as many possible scenarios as there are individuals,
because every person’s psycho-sexual development has its own pace. Same sex
attraction may be discovered during adolescence, before or after entry into the seminary, as well as before or after ordination to the priesthood. There are no absolutely perfect protocols, nor any foolproof procedures. The basic issue, I believe, is to face that same sex attraction is a disorder and to deal with it in a healthy way, instead of presuming, as our culture does, that homosexuality is normal and natural, and that the gay life style is as valid an option as marriage or the single life.
Here in the
Northeast and East Coast, it may be already too late to head off the situation the pope speaks
of, “where celibacy would….end up being
identified with homosexuality”. Maybe it is different in some parts of the South,
and in the West, and Midwest, where I am told the Church is much stronger. I doubt the
situation is different on the West Coast, however. It may even be worse out
there, for all I know. Perhaps demographers and sociologists can explain how
our culture and values vary according to geographical location here in the United states. Maybe the
situation is to fluid for any national snapshot to be taken.
Some concluding thoughts on "same sex attraction" occur to me in light of Pope Benedict’s resignation and the election of Pope
Francis, which I hope to use as the basis of the next posting on this topic. I do not
see the term “same sex attraction” in the writing, nor in their
conversations of either pope. As far as I can tell they both use the word “homosexual”
and “gay" interchangeably. Here in
the United States a distinction between the two is made. A man who struggles with same sex
attraction is said to be “homosexual” whereas only those who “come out” and
embrace the gay life style with its culture, are classified as
“gay”. I think this is an important
distinction to make. Doing so would contradict the popular
assumption that “gays are born that way” and also help explain how a good number of men who
suffer from same sex attraction successfully deal with the disorder, and go on to successfully become fathers in the sacrament of marriage, or spiritual fathers the priesthood. Some, I daresay have even been canonized saints.
The following reflection on homosexuality in the priesthood springs from my musings on Pope Benedict's statement about that topic. For the full quotation see the blog entry for March 1, 2013
Priesthood and homosexuality are "incompatible" says Pope Benedict. The reason he offers is that there is no renunciation, no sacrifice. The homosexual priest is not giving up marriage, "offering it up"or "sacrificing" it, since he would not want to get married anyway. He would 1) not want to father a child, 2) not be interested in the ongoing burden of fatherhood, 3) not be motivated to embrace a lifelong marriage to one woman, 4) nor look forward to a life that included a wife and a family. A heterosexual priest would be sacrificing all of that. The homosexual priest would not. So why should he want to be a priest, a man whom all call "father?"
Perhaps one reason is so that "magically" by means of the the sacrament of Holy Orders, he can supernaturally assume a fatherhood he does not naturally experience? He experiences a lack, an absence, which he will not admit to himself as a negative, and uses Holy Orders as the means to somehow turn it into a positive? If so, it doesn't happen. He doesn't somehow because of ordination desire to father the way a heterosexual would.
The maxim states: "Grace builds on nature". If nature is defective, the grace of Holy Orders doesn't repair the defect, it just builds on the flawed foundation. Yes, the homosexual priest will validly consecrate, validly give absolution, validly forgive sins and baptize, etc. because Christ works through the sacraments, but the homosexual priest won't experience himself fathering the way a heterosexual priest would.
Presumably the homosexual would, as a priest, experience even more sexual desire for men because the brotherhood of the priesthood is masculine and the masculine is what attracts him. To start with, the sexual tension of the seminary would be tantalizing. Perhaps that very thing would attract him to the priesthood. I suppose being around men who did not know he was "turned on" by them would increase his excitement?
Suppose I was a seminarian and thought I was gay, because I experienced same sex attraction without acting it out. Would I have the humility and courage to discuss the matter with my spiritual director? Or instead of addressing the issue, would I be tempted to ignore it, deny it, and continue on with my studies? After all, I have invested a lot of time and effort in my studies. It wouldn't be too hard for me to rationalize the situation. What would I tell myself? One obvious fact I could point to is: there are certainly a good number of homosexual and gay priests out there already. If they can do it, why can't I? That would probably be enough to convince me to bury the problem, or not even acknowledge it as a problem. Now that homosexuality has been normalized in American life, what's the problem? The challenge becomes hiding my orientation and getting myself ordained. After ordination, it won't be too hard to fit myself in with brothers who understand me.
Of course, there are plenty of other rationalizations I can employ as well. I can see that many men father physically without fathering spiritually. They engender kids but don't raise them. I also can see that it is possible to father spiritually, without fathering physically. Many priests, teachers, coaches, uncles, grandfathers, etc. end up fathering kids who haven't experienced the closeness of their natural father. So, as a seminarian experiencing same sex attraction, I tell myself "I can father spiritually even though I have no desire to father physically. After I get ordained, all I have to do is carefully say the right things and mouth the correct pious platitudes. Of course, because I believe my rationalization, it doesn't dawn on me that "saying the right things" and mouthing the correct pious platitudes" won't work. It won't work because my heart won't be in it. It will be just some more boring preaching that puts people to sleep. Or more drivel that entertains people and makes them feel good by telling them what they want to hear.
If I am hiding my same sex orientation instead of dealing with the issue, I am not going to receive the spiritual fathering that I need because I won't be open to it. I won't be aware that I lack that manliness, because its absence starts to feels natural. In today's culture, since gay is being mainstreamed and legalized to include even marriage, I can tell myself that it is only a matter of time till the Church changes its teaching and accepts gay marriage and gay priesthood as perfectly okay. In fact, becoming a homosexual or gay priest is my right as a human being. Therefore I can proceed full steam ahead to ordination. Once a priest, I can do my part to strike a blow for full equality of my gay brothers! Goodness, there is nothing we can't convince ourselves of if we really try.
Of course, I am a product of my times, so I can't be sure that my attempt to imagine how a seminarian with same sex attraction would act in today's world is accurate. Back in my seminary days I suppose my rationalization for getting ordained would have been that priesthood was an easy way to escape being bothered by single women, to avoid explaining why I was still single, or why I didn't have a girlfriend.
That's certainly not the motivation today!
