John The Beloved Disciple

John the beloved disciple, when speaking of himself in his Gospel, never calls himself by name, but always identifies himself as “the one whom Jesus loved.”  Usually a name is what gives us some identity as a person. Our first name, and last, points out to others who we are. Of course we are more than those two names put together. An infinite number of other factors could be mentioned to identify us, such as gender, family, nationality, culture, work, friendships, education, etc. Yet no matter how many identifying facts are mentioned, the person I am is never adequately or fully described. We are more than their sum total. Why? It is because at root, and also in the last analysis, our name, who-we-are, is a relationship with the Infinite.

The Ever More (than I am) gave me the gift of life and called me into being. He sustains and maintains me as I journey through this life. He is the goal and destiny of my existence. He is my future right now and will be when there is no longer any such thing as created time. That is why John’s identifying himself as the-one-whom-Jesus-loved fits him as a God-given name, for it is a perfectly complete and full description of all John ever was historically and is now eternally. He is called into being by Love, sustained by Love and inspired by Love as he lives on earth, and taken up into the fullness of Love’s life and light in the Resurrection.

Safe to say, we are defined by our relationships, and especially by our relationship with Christ, the Son of God, in whom for whom and through whom all things are made.He gives consistency to everything. Somehow, our relationships with everyone else are relationships in Him. Ultimately, when all is said and done, how He identifies us, or, our identity in Him, is the only thing that matters.

So John is not emotionally overwrought, nor a sloppy sentimentalist, nor some awestruck hero-worshipper, when he uses his relationship with Christ to explain who he, John, truly is. Relationship with the God-man is the only precisely accurate measure and definition of John, and of each and everyone one of us.

The Twelve are called to be, and to be with one another because they are loved. That is what breaks them out of their self absorption and shapes them into a band of brothers. But it took Pentecost for them to finally understand this. Even after the Resurrection  they were locked into their fears, worries, and anxieties. They wouldn't have hid behind closed doors otherwise. It takes an explosion of the Spirit to make us see that God's love  for us cannot be reduced to an ego possession.

 Obviously Christ's love is is not exclusive nor closed. We are to live our relationship with the Lord in communion with others who have been called and made a decision to follow. Liberation come from the communion.The  very call to exist is a call to relate to others in love. Our existence is meant to be friendship, companionship, and fellowship in the Church as a priestly people. Intellectual knowledge of that wondrous truth is never enough. It has to be Biblical knowing, verification by lived experience. Only the Spirit of Love  can make us capable of that.