For the Fun of It: Doubting Thomas, the first Male Chauvinist Psychologist

 John: 20: 25 ".....I will not believe!"

James: What do you mean I will not believe? We told you, we saw him!

Matthew: Why would we lie about something like that? We really did see him!

Andrew: You know all of us. You can trust us.

Thomas: You're all acting like a bunch of hysterical women. I never heard anything so crazy in my life.

 

Nathaniel: What do you mean by that?

 

Thomas: By what? 

Nathaniel: By calling us a bunch of hysterical women?

Thomas: If you do what women do, you deserve to be called women. Women always let their feelings carry them away. They think that just because they feel something, that's how the situation really is. And the more they feel something, the more they are convinced they are one hundred percent right! They never listen to reason.

Nathaniel: Really, we did see him. You can't expect us not to be excited about that! 

Thomas: No, no! You'not excited because he was really here. You're excited because you are still hysterically deluding yourselves. That is exactly what women do! They get worked up,  exaggerate some feeling or emotion to the maximum possible, and then convince each other that the feeling they talked one another into is really the way things are out there. It's real alright! But real, only inside them! What's real is how silly they are to let their feelings delude them!

Peter: What's it going to take to convince you?

 

Thomas: I told you: I want to touch him with my own hands, actually handle him, then I'll believe.

 

Nathaniel: Why do you need to touch him?

 

Thomas: Because touch can't be fooled. You can't touch what is not there, even though you can imagine it!  If you touch it, you can be certain-sure it is real. My hands can't be fooled. Maybe my eyes could, if I let myself get worked up the way you girls did. But not my hands, not my fingers. I'm a hard headed realist!

 

John: But even your hands can't touch what is spiritual! Sure, you could touch his body,  but doing that would not prove he is the divine Son of God. All it would prove is that the Jesus who died on the cross is still alive. 

Thomas: That would be enough! I need some concrete real evidence, not distraught, female ravings. I'm ashamed of you guys.