Religion is not magic, even though many of us Christians and Catholics practice magical thinking in the name of religion. One of the magic tricks we instinctively try to perform is to receive without giving. We focus on our basic neediness, and forget that we cannot hoard up God’s love as if it were material riches. We become selfish and individualistic in our effort to “save ourselves”, and do not even see the contradiction of selfishly trying to quantify and amass the love that moves us to give ourselves away. Thus we “multiply words as the pagans do”. We count the number of rosaries we say, the novenas we make or communions we receive or how many masses we go to or watch on TV, but still end up full of ourselves and empty of God. In our will to perfect our individual selves, we end up wasting God’s gifts for our Ego aggrandizement.
It is magical thinking to cling to empty forms of worship and think the emptiness we personally experience is a sign of God’s presence in us. Our human experience of emptiness is usually the result of being full of ourselves, and not any sign of spiritual progress, or purification. It is magical thinking to assume we can attain the end result of the conversion process in one hesitant baby step, instead of entering into the lifelong process. I would love for my conversion process to be quick, easy, and painless. But my conversion presupposes the crucifixion of my Ego. There are no exemptions for any of us. The Ego has such a grip on us that it colors all we do our whole life long, including our relating to God.
Another example of magical thinking is the idea that repetition produces automatic sanctification. Please note: Repetition itself is not meaningless, but repetition by itself is. Repetition in anything that matters is essential. We have to go to Communion over and over again, to Confession over and over again. We have to repeat fifty Hail Mary’s and ten Our Father’s every time we say the Rosary. All life, natural and supernatural, is built on repetition. Our Ego is not eliminated by one dramatic deed. We breathe over and over, as well as eat and sleep over and over. Our heart pumps over and over, and our cells repeatedly reproduce themselves. Repetition is the building block in the order of grace as well as the order of nature. There is no way to write words except by repeating letters which form words, and no way to grow in virtue except by repeating the deeds that develop the virtue in us.
What is it that makes repetition meaningless? The “absence of attention” seems the best way to phrase the answer. Think of how mindlessly we can make the Sign of the Cross, as if we were brushing away a fly, and the meaning of “absence of attention” to what we are doing becomes clear. For another example, imagine the result if you were to tell your sweetheart “I love you” in the same offhanded fashion you bless yourself. How seriously would your words be taken? What degree of meaning would they have? Again, what would the result be if you were talking to your best friend and constantly glancing at your wrist watch? Would your friend think you were present and attentive? The lifting up of the mind and heart to God is a virtuous activity because it is a consciously willed and attended to. Rote clichés and parroted phrases are just that: rote clichés and parroted phrases.
Our obedience to Christ’s command to “Do this me remembrance of me” cannot be worship or devotion unless we are remembering Him. The very act of remembering is the heart of worship. Robots cannot worship. They are not capable of any conscious focus, only of mechanical activity. Repetition naturally tends to be mechanical because repetition ingrains a habit that becomes second nature. Since reverence necessarily includes the awareness to remember, I find it more helpful to think of reverence as a “discipline” instead of a “habit.” Not that the change of wording solves the problem, but regarding reverence as a discipline pushes me to keep it a matter of prayer instead of routine practice. Part of our discipline as disciples is to work at such prayerful attention. Another part is to realize how woefully inadequate our efforts are, and to ask Him for the grace we need to attend to Him. His words, “Without me you can do nothing” are not meant to humiliate us, but to make us see that we cannot attend to Him unless He first attends to us.
The way some priests “say” mass, (routine, deadpan recitation) and the way a lot of people “go to” mass (individual spectators instead of family participants), are both good examples of how to worship badly. This is one reason why I like the new translation of the Mass into English. Most of the objections I have heard to the new translation stem from the fact that is more faithful to the Latin texts. For me, that is the reason why I like it. The new English translation of the Latin: 1) is more elegant in its expression and rich in its imagery than the old English was, 2) makes me conscious of the Majesty and Mystery of the God I am addressing in the Church’s name, 3) pulls me out of my Ego Bubble, 4) makes me be more aware and attentive to what I am saying and doing, 5) calls me to reverence.
Some of the old Collect prayers left me feeling like I was a drill sergeant calling God to attention and giving him orders. The new English is still so new it cannot be said by rote, nor can the new Eucharistic prayers be recited on automatic pilot. That will not always be the case, but by the time it is, I hope the new English has awakened us to the Beauty and Mystery we celebrate in the Eucharist. At the very least the New English should act as a counterforce to the impoverishment that took place in our worship and Christian life due to the language we were using.
The Cross constantly challenges us who believe in Christ to let Christ make us into the persons we were meant to be by refashioning us in his image and likeness through the crucifixion of our Ego. The church that is not on the Cross will cease to be his church. In his mercy, may He continue to open our eyes to the many ways we say yes to him while doing no, so that our self-deception will not fix us in a life style that deprives us of the life and love He offers.
Beautiful. Thank you.
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